Friday, April 28, 2006

mid-semester musings

As of today, I have 50 days left here in the UK.

Then I will be packing my bags (well hopefully they'll be packed by day 49, but you all know me...) saying goodbyes (which I have come to hate by now) to my family and friends here, and flying back home.
Wow, talk about mixed feelings.

Part A of me is eager to get back to life as I know it, to home, to Mike, to my friends, to summer and to "normal". I haven't really been homesick this semester, like, not wanting to be here. Of course I've missed people; and little things like FOOD and driving and TV and not having to bag my own groceries (let's face it). And Wheaton. It will be good to be back at Wheaton. As much as I procrastinate, it's never been worse than now, and at UoG the workload is only about 1/10th of what I'd probably have at Wheaton!

now, Part B says that I am settled here now and things are getting to be "normal". Normal meaning for the semester-- knowing that I'm only here temporarily. But there's something comfortable about routine, predictability and establishing "usual" - like knowing what kind of laundry detergent to get at Wilkinson; knowing which aisles to visit whilst grocery shopping at Tesco; looking the right direction when crossing the street... everyday things that are not so much of an exploratory task these days. Not to say that I've figured everything out, or that it's not fun anymore, but I think most of us American *foreign exchange* students can say that we can pretty much get around now. (especially since we speak the same language-- after our adventures in Europe!)

There's always that little thought in (I guess it would be Part B) the back of my mind that wonders what it would be like if I did stay in England and if my adjustment to a new country was for a more permanent residency. I wonder how it would be different, or how far I really am in the "adjustment" phase? Just a thought. (Don't worry Mom & Dad, I'm coming home) :)

Part B also reminds me about going back to the States and how the whole reverse adjustment process will be. I'm curious to see how many things I will notice that I haven't before. To see what will strike me as odd, obnoxious, surprising, luxurious, obscene, pleasant-- things I never would have given a second thought before my 4 1/2-month hiatus. Almost like visiting the US as a foreign country. But Part B is a little worried about missing things from life in England that won't be the same once I return home. And I have no idea what it will be like to come back; processing and reflecting and all that good (but complicated) stuff. And Part B is also concerned that the home Part A imagines/remembers might not be the same as it really is.

Am I making this way too complicated? Could be. Yet the whole immersion experience is so gradual and subtle that I think I won't fully realise how much I've learned until it's over.
But the only way to find out is to wait and see! Until then, I'm going to enjoy the last few weeks here in Cheltenham and welcome the spring!

Salzburg, Austria

2 Comments:

At Sat Apr 29, 04:58:00 AM GMT-6, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those thoughts are so true. Going back to America and noticing the differences is going to be fun! We have learned so much...and grown so much as individuals...we will forever remember our time here and maybe one day tell our grandchildren around the fireplace, at Christmas time, all wrapped up in a nice fleece blanket....ok I'm getting carried away but I just wanted to say that you couldn't have summed up the experience better!!!

 
At Sun Apr 30, 04:08:00 PM GMT-6, Anonymous Anonymous said...

All that analyzing means I know who you're relatives are! Glad you are thinking ahead about all of this. Really enjoy it all in your remaning 49 days. Take a good video of your flat and neighborhood before you return to Sparta. Remember where that is on the mitten? We miss you too but have been glad for your time there. What an trade off! I thought of you yesterday when I saw the Dr. Suess book at a bookstore! Love Mom & Dad

 

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